I am in the same boat. Then try some of these methods: 1. i just feel like a bad parent coz as soon as my partner comes home my daughter is all smiles again, so she makes me out to be a lier. There are studies showing that babies that are being held a lot actually become independent faster. But the emotional part of me feels devastated. We have great fun when its just the two of us, playing and laughing. (And no chords these evening until your baby is asleep! Congratulations on your little daughter! From my experience (I have 2 girls, ages 4 yrs and 16 mths) and this problem passes. It breaks my heart when she cries and kicks when daddy leaves her alone with me. Our job is then to not take it personally, not reinforce it by showing strong emotions, but simply allow our children to for some reason need one parent more than the other from time to time, It is painful, but it is normal development. Should I try to get my husband to do more of those things when possible, or will that just lessen the bond between my daughter and me even more?? Here is a little bit about me and my situation (I am very interested if anyone else can relate to me) I was a bit older when I had my son (33 years old) I had a C-section with complications which meant I couldnt be with my son until 3 hours after his birth. I breastfeed and she doesnt like when I look at her or she will fuss again. Perhaps though your sense of defeat is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. That is an excellent way to allow the two of you to bond. I try so hard singing songs, playing games etc, but it seems to make no difference. I see you're still nervous. dont get me wrong, she just doesnt seem to have any kind of attachment to me at all.it makes me feel worthlesssomeone replaceableis this something that will pass, or should I talk to her doctor? Try carrying your baby's photo with you at your workplace. I have not seen the same reaction for me. He pushes me away tells me not to tell him I love him. It is an intensive period. Any idiot can get pregnant but being a loving mother is something entirely different. Carry on telling your cousin who her mother is and that it is not you. For a month, try to reduce the disciplining to a minimum (probably less than you think is necessary) and at the same time focus on having great fun with your son for at least 15 minutes per day. XOXO, Paula. Try Bottle Feeding a Drowsy Baby. weekends wen i wanna spend time with my gal they comes in between n tells my husband to bring her over . Hi I have a grandson 22 months old which I adore and see him most days. Recently, its really been getting to me. I have a 3 year old with whom I am going through a very same problem and I am having a really tough time with it. I hear a lot of guilt in what you write. While I would never ever leave my child, I am very concerned about the lasting effect on our relationship. (It has absolutely NOTHING to do with how much you love your daughter; that was an insensitive and completely incorrect comment by your dad!). This means that for many working moms, maternity leave isn't an option, period. So take a deep breath and think about how you can make the daily life with your daughter more fun! As soon as she sees me she crys my mamma and whines and doesnt want him to come near her or even talk to her. she cries alot wen i pick her back from wrk . A more upright position makes it easier for the milk to go "down the hatch.". Of course we can go the road of power struggles, but it wont help. It really hurts. youre missing out, and so is your baby. sometimes I sit and think i should just give her to her father. We now understand that this is just a phase and will follow through on your suggestions, Well i am very upset these days my problem is when i use to come back from home my baby didnt comes to me he goes to everyones hand except me i use to cry at night daily of this reason i have fear that he will forget me forever and the attachment will not develop between me and with my baby in 24 hrs he use to come in my hand for only 1 hr.Will my baby forgets me forever or will not i use to wait daily for him at office to meet him as soon as possible but he doesnt gives any reaction to me when i come to home,i am very tensed please give solid solution as he is closed to his grandma and with my brother-in-law. ), are hard-wired so to speak to love their mothers, absent significant abuse and/or neglect. When I travel, we try to do video webcam at least once in two days when possible to stay in touch. For you who have to work, find as much time as possible to spend with your daughter. Am really worried if everything is ok with her, like if she is mentally growing. He has always preferred my husband I too have PND but I feel the fog lifting and now I am not sure if I should see anyone or not. Another aspect is that neither you nor your son seems to be comfortable with the role you have right now. 1. I know a significant factor in my issues with my son was my inability to bond because of my terrible adjustment to being a mother/post partum depression. Does anyone have any success stories in terms of their baby eventually being more bonded to them? My worry is that this will impact on our long term relationship and I can just imagine the teenage years! Do you think itll pass? Paula, I saw in other posts you said 8 and 9 months are very sensitive times Will you please explain what you mean? Thank you very much for the clarifications. In 2019, the labor force participation rate for women was 57.4%, compared with 69.2% for men, according to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). He always trying to get daddys attention instead. It is not your fault that the first few months were very tough. Ive been really upset about in the last few days, crying about it and even getting cross about it. But lately, she has just got more & more attached to daddy.and doesnt want me to hold her to sleep at night. Being parent to a toddler gives us fantastic opportunities to develop our creativity! What can i do to get my daughter back? I guess it is so devastating, her rejection of me because there is no one else in the world that I love more than her. My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. It started off with biting and scratching and now she is hitting me. Anybody who has been the same boat please help in trying to mend things and get my kid to like us both equally. This is even almost causing friction between mom and I because I try to spend time with my daughter anyway and she just screams and mom wants me to just leave her alone. To make them as comfortable as possible with you, have you tried recording lullabies or small stories that they can listen to when you are not around? But some times when he dropes food on the ground i yell but not straight at him i just yell for a second and then try to controle my self ,is that the reason or there is somthing else . I am very responsive with both. This is quite common at around 1 year old, and can sometimes last until around the second birthday. Third, it gives you a possibility to do something else than taking care of your daughter. Honestly I couldnt really handle it for the 8 or 9 months or however long it lasted for me. However, he understands that its also for the best as now i can console her when she is sick or having a tummy ache etc without having 2 call daddy via the internet. My point is this this WILL pass. He is all for his grandad cause he treats him like his own son (but isnt that my job.) You are not the only mother this has happened to. Anyway, Im not writing to give a full update on my situation but instead I wish to respond to your posts. Give him a bah, feed him, put him to bed, give him his breakfast, get him dressed, take him out in his pram and do not take no for an answer or it will get worse. Especially when you have a insane father constantly making complaints and accusations your way just to get the child from you. Hi Im a step father an I have a little boy who is 2 now an I been in his life since he was three months old. Make sure you give her 100% of your attention for at least 30 minutes each day and have FUN together during those 30 minutes. Secondly, it will help you and your hubby becoming partners in parenting more. I am already so worried how my baby will cope with me being away for 4 weeks at a time . Do it now. oh, my daughter is almost 7 months. Take a deep breath and focus and love and joy when you interact with your daughter. Is soo upseting bcuz this just sterted like a week ago befor it seemed that i was his everyhing he lovedd to be with me! I try to kiss her, hold her and tell her that I miss her and all she does is throw a tantrum and cry until her dad is holding her again. Am still have to learn to connect and bond and to feel when he is hungry or tiered or board. Please help! I take care of her so nicely and to the best of efforts but she doesnt like me. They all saw it for themselves as we were all on holiday together, but its my girlfriends mum & dad not mine but she doesnt see a problem but only a farther will tell. But I only see her a few hours a day when I work (weekdays). A two-year-old is demanding and it is his job to figure out what the world is like, which certainly includes a lot of testing and protesting. Double-check the milk What do you do when your 7 month old won't take a bottle? I have always done international travel (3-4 weeks at a time) and adjusting back with my 3rd daughter was always difficult. Because thats what is happening! Ive been home with her from the beginning. I think children, at least those without attachment disorders (could this be a possibility with your daughter, I cant recall if you wrote that your little girl IS attached to her dad and just not to you? I work full time and travel quite a bit during the summer, up to a week at a time. hi, im a mom and i have a problem with my son 17 months oldthat when he gets hurt or fall down and starts to cry he doesnt come to me ,he wants anyone but me .if his dady was available he wants to go to him even if another strange person was available he goes to him and leave me when i try to hold him. Trying to raise a 1 year old is impossible. He even says lots of words including daddy, bruh bruh for his brother, nana, papa, juice, more, he even says my niece and nephews names, Michael and Mattie, but he has never said momma! in return they are telling me dun seperate them from my child wat can i do . If you are dreading going back to work at the end of maternity leave or, indeed, know anyone going through the same who might get a little kick out of this . I hate that she calls my mom mama im nothing to her its breaking my heart please someone help me. I strongly recommend you to get it! This hurts so much that I cant help but cry. Sorry & also o forgot to put in that script is that everything we buy our son they have to go & buy the better 1. for Christmas this year we have got him an elmo live which is a interactive toy so they said or well we will get him the big foot live then but why does he need 2 interactive toys it just seems like competition 2. It breaks my heart that my daughter doesnt want anything to do with me. The worst thing is that when my husband holds him, he snuggles and cuddles into his daddy and smiles and babbles, and my heart just breaks. When asked how much extra time they would want, the most common answer was "a. Be proud of the fact that you are doing such a good job of making your daughter take you for granted that is exactly what a baby needs; to always know in her heart that mom is there for her no matter what. A scary thought! You sound beyond sad, really despairing. she is taken care by my husbands mother . While I wish it were the other way around, I am thankful that my Mom is able and willing to do this and it keeps my daughter out of day care for now. Place baby on mom's tummy, in the water. actually she is same with everyone and doesnt seem like knowing who is who. She was a real daddys girl up to about 3 months ago. Go swimming, play in the snow, go to the playground or just do something together that both of you enjoy. She doesnt come when i call out to her. Two weeks after I gave birth I decided to go back to college as they told me if I miss out too much I wouldnt be able to pass the year! Goodness! This cookbook contains about 200 recipes and photos of how to make delicious meals easily and quickly. What i am trying to say is dont u think that his granddad is trying his god damn hardest to take my farther figure away & take my bond away. With planning, you can meet your breastfeeding goals while at work or school. But she preferred to be cuddled by my mom instead. A very sleepy baby may accept a bottle without even realizing it, so if your baby's resisting, try slipping in that target near the end of a nap, when she's still half asleep. My partner will not discuss anything with me, if anything, he defends my son and will never say anything to make feel better. My boys are my life and i am so grateful that i am their mom! Im assuming this is not the case with you, obviously. Quote #4. In all honestly, she did take a bottle eventually. In addition, she might have trauma and losses in her background to deal with. She is not a competitor and never will be only you are his mom! Recently my sis in law has come back after her long leave.. my son of 3 years has totally changed seeing his aunt.. since she is at home now, i leave my son with her when i am at work.. How can you respond when he's overly attached to one parent? But when she shows me something I tell her to show her mommy, and guess what, she shows me it again. 11. Tips for Going Back to Work After Baby and Easing into a Routine. Within less than a year, she will be crawling all over the place and you will have to look for her when she is out discovering the world. . Hi sad dad, Laura, Hi, i have a 18 months old baby girl that i love with all my life, i had to return back to work when she was 6 months, i am a single mother i live with my mom we agreed that she will stopped working to take care of my daughter, she is a preemie and had some complications. what you said makes perfect sense. I am really concerned with my family in the way how my daughter prefers only me when I am around. When i do, shell cry & scream for daddy. Your son loves you no less because he enjoys the company of his grandma. He cant be without her for even a minute. Skin contact is great for bonding. I have to give her a bath, I have to brush her teeth, I have to feed her, I am the only to play with her and I am the one to read bed time stories. I really hope this was at least a little bit of help. Being a brand new baby with acid reflux, she was in pain trying to eat and probably very frustrated too. 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